Walking with Grief

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This week in the GPS guide we will “unpack” the part of the Apostle’s Creed that refers to “the resurrection of the body, the life everlasting.” For those of us who have loved ones who have left our sight and gone on to that life everlasting (and isn’t that just about everyone?), the reading and study this week should bring comfort, as well as hope for our own eternal future.

We all know that grief is not a linear process, and doesn’t follow any particular plan or map. We know that death cannot separate us or our loved ones from the love of God, but it is still not easy to reach for the phone to call someone who can’t be at the other end, or long to see a beloved face one more time.

There are two lovely pieces from Celtic Daily Prayer (©2002 The Northumbria Community Trust, Ltd.) that speak to God’s love for us in times of grief, and our eternal connection to the ones we love. I’ve found comfort in them many times, and hope you do, too.


Do not hurry as you walk with grief
it does not help the journey.

Walk slowly, pausing often: do not hurry as you walk with grief.

Be not disturbed by memories that come unbidden.
Swiftly forgive; and let Christ speak for you unspoken words.
Unfinished conversation will be resolved in Him.
Be not disturbed.

Be gentle with the one who walks with grief.
If it is you, be gentle with yourself.
Swiftly forgive; walk slowly, pausing often.

Take time, be gentle as you walk with grief.

And this prayer:

Come now,
live in us.
Let us stay in You,
since if we be all in You,
we cannot be far from one another,
though some may be in heaven
and some upon earth.

Jennifer Creagar – Prayer Ministry

How is it with your soul?

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This week as we continue in our sermon series “Searching for Truth,” we will look at what the Apostle’s Creed says about sin and forgiveness. I don’t imagine many of you are jumping for joy as you consider these concepts of the Christian faith. For many of us these words make us cringe or want to run away and hide. So I thought I would start my prayer tip by telling you an embarrassing story about a time I didn’t live into God’s best for me. I hope this liberates you to be honest with yourself about areas or moments of separation from God in your own lives.

I was in high school and my little sister in middle school. As a high school student (and even now), I have always loved a good nap. One lazy weekend afternoon, I turned on my favorite TV show and drifted peacefully to sleep. Until, suddenly, I was rudely awakened. It felt as though an earthquake had hit, and it happened to have Taylor Swift songs blaring as its back-up music. Before you get alarmed, you should realize that once I was awake enough to get my bearings, I knew these obnoxious noises were coming from the basement, where my sister was running on the treadmill jamming to her favorite tunes. I asked her “kindly” (with the grumpiest spirit) to get off the treadmill and turn the music off. Nope–nothing. And who could blame her? She was exercising and jamming, both good and healthy things. So what did I do to my kid sister? I marched downstairs and shoved my sister off the treadmill. I hope none of you have experience with this, but it doesn’t produce pretty results. My poor sister, already walking through the awkward middle school years, was now scraped up from head-to-toe. She had the most pitiful tears coming from her eyes.

Why does this story get to me? You likely understand sibling quarrels, but this went way beyond that. I acted out of extreme selfishness with little concern for someone I love so much. My potential to cause harm was a huge wake-up call. Not only that, but this incident taught me a lot about the importance of self-awareness. So often we live with a sense of what I have heard called “hurry-sickness.” We rush around, hastily tackling the task at hand so we can move on to what is next. I don’t know about you, but at that pace, I push my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health to the side. In the story I just shared, I know my mind was full of anxious thoughts on replay, my anger had been growing inside me for weeks, my body was aching from a lack of sleep and I had been neglecting my prayer life. I never slowed down to realize just how bad things had gotten. I wasn’t even aware of all I was thinking, feeling, experiencing in my body or experiencing in my soul. So I exploded! The little steps I had taken away from God’s love and peace, intentionally or unintentionally, had mounted up, and I acted out.

So this is my prayer challenge for you this week. Take some time each day to sit in the presence of the Holy Spirit and check-in on yourself. Find a quiet place. Close your eyes. Pay attention to your physical self–do you have any aches or pains? Where in your body are you carrying tension? Then take time to tune in to your thoughts–what do you notice about them? Are there any unhealthy patterns? Focus on what you are feeling–anger, sadness, fear, jealously, hopelessness, etc? Finally, consider this: how is it with my soul? Do I feel close to God? Am I living faithfully? Know that whatever you find when you check-in is okay. You are normal. You are loved. Then take time to open yourself to all you have discovered of God’s love and care. Ask God to restore, renew and refresh you.

God, may our mindfulness allow us to have a more faithful walk with thee. Amen.

– Rev. Katherine Ebling-Frazier


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I recently got to see one of the most wondrous sights (at least for a Kansas girl)—a field of a million sunflowers. If you haven’t visited or seen pictures of Ted Grinter’s sunflower farm,check out this news report. Better yet, the flowers may still be in bloom if you rush over this afternoon. My husband, mother, sisters-in-law and nieces and nephews enjoyed our Monday there. We all have a lot on our hearts and minds, but the flower field was so magnificent that for a moment we—along with hundreds of others—ooo-ed and ahhh-ed, played and felt at peace. We all left the fields feeling so refreshed.

The experience was striking to me especially after a week of listening to congregants’ stories. This week, like most weeks, I had the chance to hear stories that broke my heart and others that gave me hope. Some stories made me question God’s presence, and some assured me the Holy Spirit is at work. I had the honor of several folks with alcoholism sharing about the constant challenges they face—the darkness, loneliness, exhaustion, guilt, and temptation. I turned to the Alcoholics Anonymous Book to try to better understand their experience. The Holy Spirit drew my attention to the words of AA’s founder Bill Wilson. He wrote this about alcoholics (and, I believe, about all who struggle with hurts, habits and hang-ups): “I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming worldliness and levity. But just underneath there is deadly earnestness. Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish.” For those of us walking through seasons of great pain, this statement rings so true. The amount of faith it takes us to get through each moment is astounding. And yet we too often judge or discard those we know who are at the end of their rope, believing they have little to offer.

At the sunflower field, folks from all over gathered, with different life stories and challenges, but for a moment, the glory of the sunflowers brought them together. People, in some small way, found common ground. All was well. I believe this is how the church is supposed to be. As we come together, in the glory of the Lord, we are free to come as we are, and find common ground. God’s glory fills our hearts with grace, and everyone’s “okayness” in God’s glory is apparent. As we read in 2 Corinthians 5:16-17, “So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” This is our calling as we seek to be the church.

One thing this means to me is that the church should never be a place where people feel they have to be perfect. It’s a place where we come just as we are to experience God. I read this from Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Life Together: “He or she who loves his or her dream of community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial.” If (like me) you often wish the church was something different or more, I challenge you to focus your energy on recognizing the God of Glory’s work in the church just as it is. Focus on the faithfulness all people are seeking to live into, regardless of their challenges. Celebrate evidence of God’s good work, even in an imperfect church and all of us, the imperfect people who make it up.

This week, every time you see a Kansas Sunflower (along the highway, in your back yard, etc.), pray for someone you know who is facing darkness. Pray that they would know they are loved. Pray that they would know they belong. Pray that they would know that they are okay—both in your eyes and God’s. Welcome them (literally, if possible, or figuratively) into the Church.

– Rev. Katherine Ebling-Frazier

Prayers for the School Year

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Prayer Tip:

In this sermon series, we will examine what we believe as Christians and why. As we prepare to dig into our faith, many in our community are also digging into their education with the start of school. This week, will you joining me in praying for the start of this school year?

A Liturgy for the Beginning of the School Year
We remember that God has promised to journey with us in all of life—school is no exception. Knowing this, we approach the school year with prayer. Lord, hear our specific prayers for…

The teachers in our community…
The kids in our community…
The parents in our community…
Our partner schools and the teachers, kids and parents there…Those who don’t have access to an education…

A Prayer For Teachers to pray:
We have a call to teach and have responded to that call.
We teach, trusting God’s promises to support, sustain and encourage us
through gifts sufficient for the task.
We teach, relying on prayer and the presence of the Holy Spirit.
We teach, guiding others as they gain wisdom and knowledge.
We teach, depending on our community to uphold us in this task.

We pledge ourselves to pray for each other
and for the education of the students in our care.
We pledge ourselves to enable, encourage and love each other.
We pledge ourselves to be learners with our students this school year.
May we be the hands of Christ in our classrooms.
-Adapted from the United Methodist Book of Worship #601

A Prayer For Kids to pray:
Dear Lord, help me use my eyes to see new friends. Open my ears to hear my teacher. Open my mind to learn new things. Let my heart remember You are near when I’m afraid. Help me to love others like you do. I want to shine your light so bright in my school. Amen.
-Courtney DeFeo

A Prayer For Parents to pray:
As you head off to school today, this is what I’m praying for you:
I’m praying that your day will go smoothly—that your locker will open, you’ll get to class on time, you won’t forget anything, and you’ll find friends in your classes.
I’m praying that your teachers will know how to teach you in a way that you will love to learn.
I’m praying that you’ll make loyal friends who can make you laugh and make you better.
I’m praying that you’ll have the opportunity to be the light of Jesus to someone.
I’m praying that you will always be kind, even in the face of conflict or disagreement.
I’m praying that you will seek out the new or lonely person and help them find their place.
I’m praying that you’ll learn to be a leader.
I’m praying that you’ll do everything to the best of your ability—even when you don’t want to.
I’m praying that you will be focused on the things your teachers are trying to teach you.
I’m praying that you’ll have confidence from knowing you are a child of God.
I’m praying that if things go wrong, you’ll always remember that God loves you and so do we.
I’m praying that you’ll laugh a lot during your day.
I’m praying that you will follow in Jesus’ footsteps and grow in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.
I’m praying that this year will be filled with learning, growth, joy and fun.
Have a great year!
A Back to School Prayer from Godvine

Students and parents, know that as you journey through the school year, you are never alone. God goes with you in all things. And we are always here for you in Congregational Care as well.

-Rev. Katherine Ebling-Frazier, Pastor of Prayer

Seeing with God’s Eyes

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I am blessed to “wear two hats” in my job here at Resurrection in Congregational Care. Wearing one hat, I provide administrative support to the Prayer Ministry and get to do things like process prayer requests, facilitate prayer events and retreats, and write prayer tips. Wearing my other hat, I work with members of our church family and community who are experiencing a financial emergency. Those two ministry areas seem like an odd combination, but I have discovered that each informs and supports the other. Funny how God puts us in unusual places sometimes so that we can see things from a different point of view.

This week in the GPS, we are going to look at the parables about wealth and poverty. Like all these good stories we have been exploring, Jesus used these parables to make his followers think about and see what the world looks like through God’s eyes. Issues surrounding wealth and want, need and providing for those needs, were hard for the disciples and people of Jesus’ day and they are hard for us now.

I want to see every person I meet through God’s eyes. I want to give them the answer Jesus would give them, but that does not necessarily come as naturally as it probably should. I am much more likely to see the world with God’s eyes, and care for my brothers and sisters like Jesus does, if I am in constant contact with God through prayer.

Here is a beautiful prayer from Praying in the Wesleyan Spirit: 25 Prayers for Today by Paul Chilcote that we can use this week as we explore the stories Jesus used to teach us about keeping “our eye firmly fixed upon Jesus in all things.”

Oh Eternal Light, I want to walk as a child of the light and to be filled with joy. I want a principle at the center of my being that not only represents who I am but is a guiding force that both accuses and excuses, disapproves and approves, condemns and acquits every thought, word, and deed from the perspective of your love.

I need a conscience that helps me to perceive what is right and wrong, that helps me know how to live in loving relationships with other people.

Grant to me, O Lord, a right understanding of your Word, a true understanding of my self, a consistency of heart and life, an inward perception that I walk in your ways and follow in your paths through faith in Jesus Christ.

Help me to cultivate a simplicity of spirit in my life – the ability to keep my eye firmly fixed upon Jesus in all things. Nurture within me a godly sincerity, a daily reliance upon your strength, wisdom, and love, so that all of my conversation might be compelling and winsome and pure.

Witness to your love daily in my life through the power of your Spirit, so that I might rejoice in you always.

May my joy-my happiness-always lead me to rejoice in obedience to your loving will, to rejoice in loving you, to rejoice in keeping your commandments.

May my sense of blessedness spring from the assurance that you love me and have restored abundance to my life through Jesus Christ.


 – Jennifer Creagar, Prayer Ministry

Prayer and Story

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This week in the GPS guide, we will be exploring the parables – the stories Jesus told to illustrate truth to his followers. Jesus knew that stories are powerful. They engage our minds and speak to our hearts.

When my youngest son Sam was little, one of his favorite activities was to climb into my lap and look around the room, choose some random object and say, “Tell me the story of this.” He wouldn’t settle for something like, “That is a bowl of flowers.” He wanted to know where the bowl came from, how old it was, why it was decorated the way it was, what kind of flowers, where they were picked, why they were picked and why they were in the bowl on this table right now. He wanted the story. So, I would tell him, “That is a bowl that used to be in my great-grandmother’s house in Ada, Oklahoma and she used to fill it every day with flowers from her garden. Ladies used to like to paint china bowls, and the decorations on it were probably painted by her or one of her friends. Or maybe her mother brought it with her in a covered wagon when their family came to Oklahoma when it was still called Indian Territory. This morning I picked those flowers, called peonies, from our garden and put them in the bowl because it makes me happy and reminds me of her.” That would lead to more questions, and pretty soon Sam knew not only the story of the bowl of flowers, but some of his own family history and something about flowers.

Story can be a powerful prayer tool, too. Have you ever felt unsettled, or unsure about some aspect of your life? Do you ever struggle with seeing or feeling God’s very real presence in day-to-day living? Try engaging the power of story to focus your prayers and recognize God’s presence in your life. I find it helpful to write things down, but, as in all prayer, come to God in the way that works best for you.

Take a minute in the quiet to center yourself and focus on your prayer. Be honest. Describe what is going on in your life, and then start asking questions to help bring out the story. When you were feeling the most unsettled, what was happening at that moment? What came before? What came after? What did you see, hear, touch? What other feelings were present? Were you alone or with other people? Tell God the story – the whole story. Fill in all the details that make it uniquely your story. Then, look back at the story you’ve told. Where do you see God moving or acting in that story? When you see God moving, what were you doing? Who else is involved? Where do your stories intersect? What feelings do you have as you look at the details of your story? What does the story tell you about your relationship with God and the impact of God’s presence on your life? Make sure you do as much listening as talking, and don’t be afraid of silence as you move through the story. Just as Jesus did with the parables, God often shows us truths through the examination of our own stories and where they intersect with God’s presence and will.

This week, let God speak to you through the study of stories Jesus told, but also spend some time exploring your own story and God’s presence in it.

Oh God who knows us best,
help us to find your presence in our own stories
so that we may walk more closely with you each day.

Father’s Day 2015

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You may or may not know this about me, but I am the oldest of three girls. I love my little sisters deeply—they have grown into some of the coolest young women I know; they are my best friends. This being said, in one area of my life, they are my archenemies. You see, growing up in the Ebling household (let’s be honest, even now) there was an ongoing competition to be dad’s favorite. We even have a label for this oh-so-important standing: the “FC” (Favorite Child). Now most of the parents out there know that my dad isn’t doling out this award, he always says “I love you all the same.” This doesn’t stop us from coming up with reasons as for why we are certain, secretly we are his favorite. For example, when you mow the lawn, you get five points. When you get married, you lose 50 points. You get the idea…

It seems silly that we joke about this now that we are young adults but my sisters and I have always just though my dad is the coolest. He has demonstrated so well how to live with integrity, how to walk humbly, how to be a loyal human being and how to love your neighbor as you love yourself. When we were little, my sisters and I craved spending time with him. We observed the quiet but strong example of faith he set each week when he took us to get donuts that we gobbled up when counted trains at the railroad tracks, when we went fishing at the creek with him in the summertime, when we had daddy/daughter movie days and when he whipped up cream cheese and peanut butter crackers, with a side of Mac N’ Cheese and hotdogs for us.

There are special people in our life we feel we just can’t learn enough from. I mean my sisters and I begged for my dad to teach how to mow the lawn!?!?! Being assigned this chore for the first time was the crowning glory! As you all read this, my respect for my dad might remind you of your relationship with your own father, a father figure, a dear friend, a special family member or perhaps your mom.

In thinking about the way we crave the time of such people in our lives, I was convicted. Listen to Psalms 25:4-5:

4 Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths. 5 Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

Do we take enough time to sit at the feet of Jesus to listen and learn his ways? May God transforms us into people who are zealous for God and by extension, prayer. Amen.

-Rev. Katherine Ebling-Frazier

Praying As a Team – June 14, 2015

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I really love baseball, and have discovered that my favorite baseball of all is Little League in all its forms, from kindergarten t-ball to player-pitch, when skills begin to develop and grow. There just is nothing better! As my grandkids have progressed through the levels, one of the most interesting parts has been watching the development of team play.

When they first start off in t-ball at about age 5, and the ball is hit off the tee, every single player, usually from both teams, runs to wherever the ball lands and has a discussion about what to do with it. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen – all these earnest little baseball players, with gloves as big as they are, running to the ball. Of course, that means there is no one on base to catch the ball and get anyone out. There are lots of home runs in t-ball! Players also have a limited grasp of the rules and structure of the game, and tend to have very short attention spans. So, in t-ball you may see bases run in no particular order, or an outfielder who wanders off to chase a butterfly.

Now my oldest grandson is playing more “real” baseball. This is his first year of player-pitched ball, and everyone is VERY serious. They march up to bat with serious “game faces” on, and the pitchers stare down the hitters. They are also really learning to play together as a team. In a recent game, I saw them execute a perfect double play, one of the most exciting plays in baseball. Done right, it is truly a thing of beauty. You can see the Royals do this here. In order for this to work, everyone involved has to work together in perfectly orchestrated teamwork. Each player has to be where he needs to be at that moment, and also be aware of the exact location of his teammates and the runners. It requires concentration and shutting out distractions like the noise of the crowd or those butterflies!

We talk about prayer as a very personal and individual experience, and it is. But there is also great power and experience of the presence of God in praying together with other believers. In Matthew 18:20, Jesus promises that, “where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” If you do not routinely pray with someone else, this week why not explore this kind of prayer? Gather friends or family members and spend time in God’s presence. Try to also be aware and attentive to each person in the room, focusing on this time of prayer and shutting out everything else.

If you need a “game plan” for your time of praying together, choose ahead of time who will begin and who will finish the time of prayer and how each person in the circle will let the next person know when they are through praying. (A common way is to squeeze the hand of the next person). One good framework for praying together is to use the A.C.T.S. method:

Adoration – each person present shares a prayer of adoration, telling God what he means to you, and end by praying this scripture together out loud: Let my whole being bless the Lord/Lord my God, how fantastic you are!/You are clothed in glory and grandeur!” – Psalm 104:1

Confession – this can be done out loud, or silently, with the leader allowing time and then leading the group to pray out loud, “Lord hear our prayer.” Before moving on to prayers of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving – each person present offers up a prayer of thanksgiving to God. After the last person, the group can pray together, “Lord hear our prayer.”

Supplication – each person present can offer up a different prayer request, or if the group is focused on one prayer need, can pray for just the one topic. Again, at the end, the group may pray together, “Lord, hear our prayer.”

If you like, you can end your time of prayer by reciting the Lord’s Prayer.

In your time together, I pray your “team” will experience the power and beauty of God’s presence, and feel more closely connected.

–Jennifer Creagar, Resurrection Prayer Ministry

Spiritual Disciplines – June 7, 2015

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A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure to preach at Resurrection West. After my sermon, I went outside to get some fresh air and I found 5 really kind kiddos having a blast playing together. When I asked them what they were playing they went on to explain all sorts of things about chocolate and lava and monsters. I asked them how to play and they looked at me, an “old” pastor and said something along the lines of: “You just kinda do.”

Do you remember the glory days? There is something so fun about playing games without the rules – at least at first, but at some point the game gets messy. The rules of a game have a purpose. In the game of baseball, for instance, once you know the rules, you see the beautiful dance, the masterful athleticism, and the respectable integrity out on the field.

This week as we talk about discipline and practice in baseball and in faith, I want to challenge you to pray about the “unspoken” rules that guide your life. St. Benedict, a monk, started the tradition long ago of having those living in the monastery live by a common rule of life. This week I want you to pray and work on forming your own rule of life—something that will help you remember to practice spiritual disciplines. As you do so, I want you to remember this isn’t about making pointless rules, but instead “A rule for life offers unique and regular rhythms that free and open each person to the will and presence of God.” (Calhoun, 35) I borrowed the tips on “Writing a Rule” from Adele Ahlberg Calhoun, Spiritual Disciplines Handbook.

  1. When and where do you feel closest to God? How do you enter most deeply into an awareness of his love for you? Pay attention to the experience practice and relationships that draw you toward God. Are there any particular practices that open you up to God? Are there any practices that seem to stymie you?
  2. What is most important to you? What gives you a sense of security and self-worth? What would people who know you best say it’s like to live and work with you> Where do your relationships need attention? Who do you want to become? What receives the most attention in your life? Your partner? Job? Family? Friends? Hobbies?
  3. What do you currently do to realize your goals and longing? Work? Study? Pray? Network? Socialize? Diet? Work out? Which of these things hinder or help your spiritual journey?
  4. What practices suit your daily, monthly and yearly rhythms and cycles? What limitations are built into your life at the moment? What longing remain steady throughout? What responsibilities and rhythms change with various seasons?
  5. Where do you want to change? Where do you feel powerless to change? Ask the Holy Spirit to help you do through grace what you cannot do through effort alone.
  6. Choose several disciplines that arise from your desire for God’s transforming work and that suit the limits and realities of your life. Begin your practice.”

So, the question is, what spiritual disciplines is God calling you to now? How can you get your head in God’s game?

-Rev. Katherine Ebling-Frazier

I Can Do All Things….May 31, 2015

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Growing up I was a tomboy. I still am.

In kindergarten, I decided (and loudly declared) I was the best athlete that ever lived. I would tell all my classmates on the bus ride home, “I will even prove it to you! You aren’t even good enough competition for me…send your older brother over.” Luckily, no one ever took me up on my offer, but I figured it was because they were scared.

My family likely nurtured my sense that I was an all-star. We would often play family backyard baseball. I developed an unwavering belief I would be the winner. I would envision hitting a homerun—then nail it. I was the best! (Apart from a homer by dad, I was.) I mean, my competition was my little sisters (one of them a toddler at the time) and my mom, who has an uncanny ability, even to this day, to hit the ball backwards.

As an adult, I have assumed that my athletic illusions of grandeur have worn off. A few weeks ago, I realized they are ever-present. I got it in my head that I was excellent at bowling. I told my husband tales of how wonderful I used to be and I confidently challenged him to a game. I lost miserably (my score was in the 30s), yet part of me still believes I was just having an off day.

In all reality, I am a decent athlete. I played basketball for a time in high school, and in college and seminary I took up hiking and biking. But I have never been the best—or even close to it. In all honesty, those of you who know me know I am particularly clumsy and prone to injury. So how in the world do I continue to have this belief I am invincible?

 I can’t argue that my “invincibility complex” is healthy. Now that you know my little secret, you are welcome to give me a hard time about it. What sticks out to me is how it has allowed me to really believe in myself, to believe in the unbelievable, to believe in spite of the current realities. Somehow, baseball, allows us to do this—to root for our team regardless of their record, to cheer for the underdogs, to have hope for the next game/season/year. Baseball helps us get in touch with this magical ability we have to believe.

This week, I challenge you to think about what it would look like to have this much belief, this much faith, this much hope in the game of life. In prayer, offer God an area in which you feel defeated, discouraged, in which the odds are against you, and ask God to renew your sense of belief in the love and power of God. Pray too, that God would give you a confidence, not one that comes from pride, but one that comes from a belief that God is at work in and through you. Perhaps you can read and reflect on the words of Philippians 4:13 as you spend time in prayer:  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. My prayer is that in this, we will start seeing the magical things God is up to in our lives.

– Rev. Katherine Ebling-Frazier

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